Why is it that it seems as if the smartest of people seem to have the most difficulty with discovering God and His holy and perfect love for us? Why is it that it seems like the intelligence of the mind sometimes blocks the feelings of the heart? In Book VIII, Augustine spoke of the "extremely learned and most expert in all the liberal disciplines" man known as Victorinus. He converted at an old age, implying a lifelong difficulty of submitting to the Lord. Augustine himself had difficulties. And he noticed that people who were not "intelligent" were discovering God. He tells Alyoius, "What is wrong with us? What is this that you have heard? Uneducated people are rising up and capturing heaven, and we with our high culture without any heart..." Why do we know that we need Him, but it is our minds that help keep us from Him? "I was deeply disturbed in spirit, angry with indignation and distress that I was not entering into my pact and covenant with you, my God, when all my bones were crying out that I should enter into it and were exalting it to heaven with praises." He knew what he needed. He KNEW it. He had the knowledge. But he had not the will. He did not have the heart. He tells his readers that he could will his body to do physical harm to himself. But he could not will to submit to God. His mind can tell his body to move. Why couldn't his mind tell him to will? He was playing a mind game with himself. While he knew what he need to do, he did not know how to do it. How do you make yourself feel?
Why do we strive for knowledge? Why do we feel accomplished when we know and are associated with people who have just as much or even better more knowledge as us? We are warned through Scripture about knowledge. Ephesians 4:17-18 tells us, "You must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts."We are also told by Christ himself that we should be like children: "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." (Mark 10:14-15). I think a lot of times we get preoccupied knowing about Jesus rather than knowing personally Jesus Christ. I think we need to stop focusing on what we can know but instead on how we can live.
I don't know really if this has anything to do with anything at all. But I was just thinking about this while I was reading.
I really enjoyed this. It's true and personal. I often feel foolish when reading or listening to arguments by smart athiests. I don't have an opinion formed on a lot of issues, and I'm not the most well read. But no matter how much I "know," the knowledge of God will sound foolish to those that are wise in the world. Not that we shouldn't study up, but I shouldn't get stuck on the fact that there's so much I don't know.
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